Episode 149: Masking & Veneer of Coping – What is it? & What to do?

Masking & Veneer of Coping 

What is it? & What to do?

 

Discussed in this Episode:

✅ Why I call masking, ‘a veneer of coping,’ and what to do!

✅ What is Masking?

✅ What you see.

✅ What you can do.

✅ Why it can cause burn out for families and their autistic child.

✅ Masking versus Copying.

✅ Do your children/students struggle with after-school meltdowns/shutdowns?

✅ Do they hold it together at school but when they get home they fall apart?

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What is Masking?

Masking is when a person on the autism spectrum mimics and uses social scripts learnt from others, in

order to fit in and suppress their autistic tendencies. The goal is often to appear ‘neurotypical’ as they want

to fit in.

On the outside the student may appear…
1. Well behaved
2. Hard Working
3. Eager to Please
4. Perfectionism
 

But on the inside the student may feel…

1. Anxiety
2. Stomach Aches
3. Excessive Worry
4. Exhaustion

Possible Causes of a Meltdown/Shutdown

– Keeping it together at school/social activities

– Built up pressure of sensory or social experiences

– Burnt out from masking

– Feeling socially excluded – not having a group of friends 

– Bullying

– Overstimulation

– Overload

 

What can you do? 

1. Implement breaks throughout the day from social & sensory activities 

2. Help them find group of friends 

3. Create a club 

4. Build their autistic identity 

5. Celebrate Difference and Diversity in your classroom

6. Teach them Emotional Literacy so they can recognise emotions can self regulate throughout the day

Parent/Carers – What can you do?

1. Have snack and drink ready after school

2. Give them quiet time (don’t ask questions or requests)

3. Give them their own time and space to unwind when they get home

4. Consider getting a pet (Listen to podcast why)

 

Girls often mask here are the books I love to Support Girls 

Books For Girls:

Product Quantity

Sue Larkey's MEGA BOOK of Timesavers, Tips & Strategies for Busy and Complex Classrooms

A MEGA book full of my most Popular Blogs, Tip Sheets and more in one easy to use reference! This book is for all ages and stages, for teaching neurodiverse students including Autism Spectrum, ADHD, ODD, PDA and more!

Includes index to quickly look up Topic & Tips, as well as ideas for all parts of teaching and looking after neurodiverse children. 142 pages of Strategies & Tips at YOUR Fingertips.

The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide: How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic

"Never be ashamed of being different: it is this difference that makes you extraordinary and unique."

This essential go-to guide gives you all the advice and tools you'll need to help you flourish and achieve what you want in life. From the answers to everyday questions such as 'Am I using appropriate body language?' and 'Did I say the wrong thing?', through to discussing the importance of understanding your emotions, looking after your physical and mental health and coping with anxiety and sensory overloads, award-winning neurodiversity campaigner Siena Castellon uses her own experiences to provide you with the skills to overcome any challenge.

With practical tips on friendships, dating, body image, consent and appearance, as well as how to survive school and bullying, The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide gives you the power to embrace who you are, reminding you that even during the toughest of teen moments, you are never alone.

I am an Aspie Girl

A book for young girls with autism spectrum conditions

Lizzie is an Aspie Girl - she has Asperger's Syndrome, which means that her brain works differently to her friends, and even to boys with Asperger Syndrome. In this book, Lizzie explains what it's like to be an Aspie Girl, including how she has a special talent for blending in with her friends, how she gets really tired after being at school all day, how she worries about making mistakes, and how she finds it hard to understand how she is feeling.

Aspergirls

| by Rudy Simone | Girls with AspergerÕs Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness. This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in AspergerÕs Syndrome.

Pretending to Be Normal Updated Version

| by Lianne Holliday Wiley | Compelling and witty, Liane Holliday Willey’s account of growing to adulthood as an undiagnosed Aspie has been read by thousands of people on and off the autism spectrum since it was first published in 1999. Bringing her story up to date, including her diagnosis as an adult, and reflecting on the changes in attitude over 15 years, this expanded edition will continue to entertain (and inform) all those who would like to know a little more about how it feels to spend your life 'pretending to be normal'.

In stock

Great Books to Help with Self Regulation and Prevenative Breaks

Great Books to Help with Self Regulation and Preventative Breaks

Product Quantity

The Kids Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control

SUE'S TOP PICK!

From breathing exercises, pressure holds and finger pulls, to fidgets, noise-reducing headphones and gum, this book is brimming with fun stuff to help kids feel cool, calm and collected. They will learn how to label difficult feelings, choose the perfect strategies and tools to tackle them, and use these correctly whether at home or at school. The strategies and tools are accompanied by cartoon-style illustrations, and the author includes useful tips for parents and teachers as well as handy visual charts and checklists to track learning and progress. For ages 7-14 years.

How to be a Superhero called Self-Control

| by Lauren Brukner  - Narrated by a superhero called Self-Control, this illustrated book provides a variety of super power strategies to help children with emotional and sensory regulation difficulties, aged approximately 4 to 7 years, to master self-control.

Stay Cool and In Control With The Keep-Calm Guru

Meet the Keep-Calm Guru, our expert guide to the art of staying cool, calm, and in control in the face of overpowering feelings! This illustrated book introduces wise ways for chil dren to recognise and cope with anxiety, anger, frustration, and other difficult emotions. Using everything from yoga poses and pressure holds, to deep breathing and relaxing colouring activities,the Keep-Calm Guru show skids how to take back control and feel cool, calm, and just right.

Suitable for children with sensory and emotional regulation diffi culties aged approximately 7- 14 years

Self-Control to the Rescue

The self-control super hero is back! This time, they've come prepared with simple strategies to tackle the difficult emotions and challenges of everyday life. From the morning routine to making friends at recess, paying attention in class and getting a good night's sleep, this guide will help children stay on track and save the day! Focussing on specific times of the day that present particular challenges, the book uses illustrations and simple language to describe breathing exercises, stretching, and visualization techniques to help children aged 4-7 keep calm and in control. Suitable for all children, but especially those with sensory and emotional regulation difficulties, this is an accessible guide with extra tips and resources for parents, educators or therapists.

In stock

Emotional Regulation in Students with an Autism Spectrum Disorder and/or other Neurodiverse Disorders – Masterclass.

 

Helpful Autistic Lived Experiences Facebook Groups and Organisations:

SCHOOLS

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