Kate Swenson’s popular blog “Finding Cooper’s Voice” has provided hundreds of thousands of parents of children with Autism hope and comfort. Kate has now written a powerful memoir “Forever Boy”, to continue sharing her inspiring story about motherhood and unconditional love. 

My Top takeaways from reading the book:

✅  Use Written Lists Instead of Pictures Kate found that Cooper didn’t respond to PECS (picture exchange communication system), but thrived with written lists. She writes down activities (“we’re gonna get dressed, we’re gonna have breakfast, we’re gonna brush teeth”) and checks them off, providing comfort and predictability.

✅  Teach the “Tap on Shoulder” Technique Instead of allowing screaming, biting, or pinching to communicate, redirect students to tap on someone’s shoulder or arm. This is a functional skill that works at any age—from age 2 to adulthood.

✅  Track Communication Data When a child exhibits challenging behaviors like screaming or biting, systematically track what they want from the behavior. Is it a snack? Bathroom? Attention? This data helps identify patterns and replace behaviors.

✅  Visit New Schools Before Transitions Kate took Cooper to his new middle school multiple times over summer. Repeated exposure to new buildings, teachers, and environments reduces anxiety about transitions.

✅  Break Major Goals into Micro-Steps For a goal like “walking through a store,” start with just being safe in the car, then practice entering for five minutes and leaving. Build incrementally over time—this approach took Kate’s family years but resulted in success.

✅  Create Two-Way Communication Systems with Parents Send photos and notes home about what happened at school. Parents can then ask specific questions (“Did you see Principal Lesick today?”) enabling the child to participate in conversations about their day.

✅  Always Work Toward Something Cooper thrives when he has a goal—whether it’s a $3 movie from eBay or a trip to the zoo. Having something to work toward provides motivation and structure.

✅  Consider Biting as “Love Bites” Reframe biting as communication rather than aggression. Children typically don’t bite random people—they bite people they’re connected to when they need to communicate something urgently. This perspective helps identify what they’re trying to say.

✅  Ensure Consistency Across All Environments Communication strategies must be consistent across school, home, and grandparents’ houses. Cooper’s communication device only became effective when everyone required him to use it, rather than anticipating his needs.

✅  Practice Life Skills in Real Environments Take children to grocery stores, airports, and other public spaces for repeated, short practice sessions. One teacher moved Tim Tams (a preferred item) closer to the store entrance so a student could see them and have motivation to enter.

Discover the powerful memoir “Forever Boy” today!

1. Ensure consistency between environments.
2. Be eclectic; try lots of different ideas and strategies.
3. Remember not every strategy works for everyone.
4. Never assume incompetence.
5. Always model good communication practices.
6. Make communication functional. 
7. Make communication fun and enjoyable. 
8. Use rewards and motivators.
9. Ensure the child has communication enriched environments.
10. Be persistent and REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT.